Her Big Mouth, His Big Feet
by Sailor Fantasy
Summary: In which Kairi and the girls explore a certain urban legend, and the repercussions that follow. Just another branch of What If? in Kingdom Hearts. No spoilers for KH2. RikuxSora, SoraxRiku, RikuxSoraxTidus
1. Chapter 1: The Legend of Big Feet

**_Her Big Mouth, His Big Feet_**

By Sailor Fantasy

Summary: In which Kairi and the girls explore a certain urban legend, and the repercussions that follow.

Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't even know the owner.

Pairing (at the moment): Sora+Riku, Riku+Sora, Kairi+Sora

**_Chapter 1: The Legend of Big Feet_**

* * *

They were giggling about him again. 

Sora was becoming quickly agitated with the glances he was getting from Kairi, Selphie, and the rest of their stupid group of girly friends. As he turned his head once more, he felt their perfidious stares return to the back of his head. He had a feeling that they'd be confronting him soon, so he tried to squelch the feeling in his stomach while trying to concentrate on the building of sand fortress around his sand castle and moat. Of course, he failed. Sora had never had the patience and attentiveness any of his other friends had—both Riku and Tidus never seemed to be bothered by any of the girls. Sora, on the other hand, was always rather…disturbed when it came to girls gossiping, especially about him. Especially when he didn't know what they were gossiping about. But that was quite all right, since the girls were coming his way anyway.

Sora gulped. Why did they always have to pick on him for their stupid lab experiments? Sora was quite sure Riku—if not Tidus—would be quite willing to participate in their expedition to their understanding of boys. Why did it always have to be unsuspecting, oblivious, virgin Sora? Why couldn't it ever be experienced, wise, obviously non-virgin Riku?

Which leads us to Reason Number 1 as to why Sora hated girls: They were always so damn curious.

Sora sighed, watching the girls approach with a predator-like stride. Why was life so unfair?

"Sora" Kairi called, a blush on her cheeks and a giggle in her voice. "I hope you don't mind us coming over. You weren't doing anything _important_, were you?"

Sora looked down at his unfinished, humble fortress. It was already crumbling apart. Much like his boring, monotonous life.

"No, of course not," Sora replied dully. The girls giggled.

"Oh Sora, you're so funny!" one of the other girls squealed. Sora winced at the pitch.

Reason Number 2 as to why Sora hated girls: Unlike boys, when girls hit puberty their voices had the potential to become even _more_ annoying and high-pitched. In which was the case with this girl. What was her name again? Umi? Uma? Something of the sort. It didn't matter much to Sora, anyway.

There was an awkward silence. The sound of the ocean crashing onto the shore was plainly heard. Sora liked the sound of the ocean crashing onto shore. It was very relaxing.

Unlike girls' voices.

"So…Sora," Kairi begun carefully, kicking some sand up with her lilac sneaker. "How's it going?"

Sora raised an eyebrow. One of the girls elbowed Kairi for wasting time. Kairi blushed and mumbled something.

"What?" Sora asked, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. The quicker, the better. And he could probably have a sword fight with either Riku or Tidus, as soon as he found them.

Where were they, anyhow? Sora frowned. Thinking about it, he hadn't seen either boy all day. Not even a sign of Wakka—and he could usually be found on the shore.

Were they all hiding from him or something? Or were they all hiding from the _girls_?

Very curious. Very curious indeed.

Talking about curious… "Well, Sora…." Kairi tried again, blush becoming far more permanent and red as she stuttered on. "Well, Sora…me and the girls were wondering…." She stuffed her face in her hands. "I can't do this," she mumbled to her palms.

One of the other girls sucked her teeth. Selphie, as bubbly and bold as a rainbow flag, stepped up to finish the botched job. "What Kairi meant to ask, Sora, was, well…" even _Selphie_ was becoming flustered—"Is that the _real_ size of your feet?"

Sora blinked. Then blinked again.

_What?_

"What?" Sora asked, befuddled and bewildered. More bewildered than anything. What the hell, man? What kind of question was that? "What?" Sora demanded again.

"Is that the real size of your feet?" Selphie inquired again, albeit a little slower this time. As if he were slow or something. Like she was some A+ student herself. She had an average just as low as Sora's! How dare she act as if he had the IQ of one of her stupid, girly friends—such as Uma, or Umi, or whatever!

Reasons Numbers 3 and 4, respectively, as to why Sora hated girls: They were always so stuck-up and so damn weird!

"Yea, of course!" Sora exclaimed, causing a large amount of titters, gasps, and blushes. "What—no _why_—the hell would you ask that!" He honestly hoped it wasn't that entire 'Sora is the son of a clown and Big Foot and was found and adopted by Mrs. Sora's mother' buzz again. It had taken three years for him to clear that up. And some people from the island were still giving him odd looks.

"W-well," Selphie stumbled through her words tentatively, a scarlet blush on her cheeks. "Um…well…some boys actually wear bigger sneakers so that…well…their feet appear bigger."

"And why, pray tell," Sora seethed, "would they do that?"

"Well—umm…" Selphie seemed at a lost for words. "Uh…don't you know?"

"Know what?" Sora inquired, interested now. If it wasn't the clown/Big Foot story, what was it?

There was a very, very awkward pregnant pause. Sora waited expectantly and impatiently. Then, finally, Kairi—who seemed to regain some of her courage—spoke up.

"You don't know about…the _legend_?" she asked, hesitantly and blushingly.

"No," Sora replied. "If I knew, would I be asking?"

This seemed to goad Kairi on. She stepped forward. "So you don't know about the entire rumor…you know, about the bigger your feet the bigger…." Kairi blushed. Selphie blushed. The entire group of girls blushed. Sora raised another eyebrow.

"Bigger? Bigger the what? Ego?" he asked, curious. Some of the girls giggled. Others just blushed some more.

"Um…no. You know… The bigger…umm…your…thebiggeryourassetsare!" She rambled. Sora blinked and then scratched his head.

Girls were so weird.

"My assets? What assets?" Sora inquired. And then it came to him. "I'm no rich boy!" he cried out hotly. 'They're probably trying to get some money out of me!' Sora thought heatedly. 'Or some fancy, smancy expensive hooker boots!'

Reason Number 5 as to why Sora hated girls: They were such gold diggers!

"No!" Kairi said exasperatedly. "Your assets…_down there_," she squeaked, before she covered her crimson face with her hands. Sora blinked once, twice, before his face turned extremely hot and he knew his entire body was red. He hated when that happened. He probably looked like a bright red tomato. Which he knew because he saw himself do it once in the mirror when Riku said something he wasn't supposed to.

_His assets down there?_

That was none of their damn business!

Reason Number 6 as to why Sora hated girls: They were so damn nosy!

"What the hell, man?" he yelled, but before he could get any further…

"Hey guys," came a very familiar, very masculine voice. "What's up?"

Sora looked up at Riku with grateful eyes and hero worship. Riku, who was always the hero. Riku, who always seemed to come just at the right moment. Riku, who was absolutely perfect in Sora's eyes.

Unlike girls. _So_ unlike girls.

"Hey Sora," Riku grinned warmly at him. "Looking a little flustered there. Is everything all right?"

Sora nearly melted. He sounded so concerned. And considerate. And sincere.

So unlike girls.

Was there any other reason why boys were so much better than girls?

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sora replied, heart fluttering though he did not know why. Matter of fact, why was his stomach doing so many flip-flops, tumbles, and back-flips? It was kind of nauseating, in a sweet sickening kind of way. "But…" Sora was interrupted by several gasps and whispering. Both Sora and Riku whipped their heads toward the girls, who were pointing at them as if they were on the Salem witch trials. Sora began scratching his head again and Riku had a condescending smirk on his face. Again, Sora glanced at him in hero worship once more. There was no other word for it—Riku was just _cool_.

There was another set of gasps, and one of the girls actually fell to her knees with measuring tape. She measured Riku's foot first—who, even in his coolness, had to look at her oddly—before she nodded and crawled over to Sora to measure his big yellow sneakers. Sora didn't know whether to allow it or push her away. In the end, he let her, only because Riku had.

"Oh my gosh!" she shrieked. Sora winced again. "It's true! It's true! His foot _is_ bigger!"

There was a large, collected gasp. There was even a faint or two. There were several shared blinks between Sora and Riku, who both looked confused at each other before saying in harmony "_What?_"

"Sora's foot is bigger than Riku's!" said the same girl from before, her large eyes even wider than before behind her glasses. "Oh my gosh!"

"What?" Kairi demanded, shocked. All of the embarrassment seemed to appear as she took charge of the situation. "Are you sure!"

"Very, Kairi!" the girl in bifocals replied, and Sora figured she must've been the brains of the group. 'Well,' he thought, 'one of them had to be just a little intelligent.' The girl continued. "Sora is definitely bigger by three inches!"

Kairi looked at Sora, then at Riku, then back at Sora again. There was a new light in her eyes—wait, no, Sora recognized that look. It was that look she used to stare at Riku and Tidus with. That look usually also came with some drooling.

But why was she staring at _Sora_ with that look for?

Riku must've noticed the look too, for he asked "Hey, what's this all about?"

* * *

None of the girls answered Riku, either still in shock or they were still paying too much attention to Sora. Riku scowled. He wasn't used to being ignored. 

Sora, however, wasn't ignoring him.

"They're talking about your assets, Riku," answered Sora, unthinkingly. "You know, _down there_."

Riku choked. Sometimes, Sora's audacity astonished him. After so many years, you would think it wouldn't even faze him anymore. Sora could be worse than the girls, at times. At least they were subtle.

"W-wha?" Riku struggled. Sora shrugged.

"They said something about…um…what was it? Oh yea. The bigger your feet, the bigger your _assets_ are. I don't know about that, ya know? It's like, what do your feet have to do with what's _down there_? It sounds kinda dumb; ya know what I'm sayin'?"

Riku wanted to say "No, I don't know what you're sayin' but I'm about to run away very fast and maybe even sail to another island because this is just too weird" but instead all he said was "Oh."

Sora smirked at him. Riku didn't know what the smirk was for, but he decided he didn't like it _at all_.

"So Riku, I guess that means I finally beat you at something," Sora said sweetly. The girls—they were still there?—tittered some more.

Riku felt flustered and distressed. But not distressed in a very girly way; not in a 'Damsel in Distress' type way. He was distressed in an 'Oh shit, what did I just get myself into?' type way.

But he would stay cool. Riku _always_ stayed cool.

"Oh really, Sora," Riku drawled, and the girls were paying attention to him again. Just a rumble from his 'sexy' tone could melt the iciest of girls. Or, at least, that's what Selphie told him. Or was it Kairi? "And _what_ would make you think that?"

Sora was still smirking. Riku would have to change that. "Well, the proof is in the pudding. I do have the bigger feet…and therefore, the bigger assets."

Riku had to ask Kairi and Selphie later where they got their sources from. "And how would you know that?" Riku asked. Riku plastered his smirk back on his face, which caused several girls to swoon. "Why don't you prove it, Sora?"

It was now Sora who was flustered. "Wh-what?"

"Prove it," Riku challenged, eyes glinting. "Prove that your assets are bigger than mine."

Sora blushed a cherry red. How the hell did Riku expect him to pull that off? To take off his red shorts, right then and there? "How am I supposed to do that? Pull down my shorts, here and now?"

Riku felt so cocky and confident that he could've sung to himself. Which made little sense, but whatever. It made him feel good to have the upper hand again. "Why not?" Riku confronted. "You seem so convinced that your assets are bigger than mine so I don't see why not."

Sora was visibly getting nervous. Riku knew Sora hated being pressured in crowds.

But lucky Sora was saved. Kairi interrupted with a long "Ewwwwllllno one wants to see that!"

Several agreements from the girls could be heard. Sora rounded on them, still flustered and bewildered, and exclaimed "So why did you want to know!"

Kairi shrugged, as did the other girls. One of them proposed to go to the ice cream parlor, and the others approved wholeheartedly ("As long as they have diet!" one cried out) and they went happily on their way, leaving Sora and Riku to themselves.

Riku blinked, and then sighed. Girls were so weird. But on to bigger things…

Riku turned and faced Sora with another condescending smirk. "Well?"

Sora, who hadn't been paying much attention in a daze, nearly jumped at the sound of Riku's voice. Sora blinked, scratched his head, and fretfully laughed. "Yea, what's up? Girls are so weird, right?"

"Yea, they sure are," Riku agreed. Riku leaned forward, smirk becoming a lot wider. "But back to the topic at hand…what makes you think you've got bigger assets than me?"

Sora was blushing, and he took a step back. And another step back. And another.

Riku was pretty sure that Sora was about to break out into a sprint by the end of whatever he was going to say. He stood and waited, trying to figure out whether he felt like chasing after the little brunette today.

"Ha ha, I was just kidding around, ya know? You're not still on that, are you? Ha ha, Riku you're so weird. Butlistengottogodinneryaknowtalktoyoulaterbye!"

And then Sora broke into a sprint. Riku nearly laughed. Sora was so predictable.

Deciding not to chase after the boy, Riku walked along the shore towards his little house at the end of the beach. He couldn't help the smirk that lit up his face.

Sora thought that he could run away from him that easily, but he had another thing coming. This battle was far from over.

In the end, Riku was determined to prove that his assets were way bigger than Sora's.

End Ch. 1

* * *

Chapter 2: In which Sora ponders about life, discovers he is blitzballchallenged, and recieves several concussions for it. 

Review Please! It's inspiring!

And now...Fun Author's Notes: Reason as to why I am writing the following story:

I was bored. Very, very bored. And instead of using this time to create an original work that probably would have ended up crappy, I wrote something that piqued my interest in which the 'general idea' does not belong to me—in other words, a fanfiction. Or satire. What do I mean by 'general idea'? The romantic, silly plot is mine; however, the overall game plot, game characters and locations are not. I am simply borrowing the characters and overall game scheme for manipulation of my own twisted plot, and also because I thought they'd fit it best. That's all.

As for fanfiction? Well, I haven't touched that entire theme for about two years now. What got my interest up for it now? Well, it could be the release for my all time favorite game, Kingdom Hearts II, the only video game I'll ever play. But that's the only explanation I've got.

Anyway, Hope you guys enjoyed—very first KH fanfiction, and I'm rather proud of it. I'm also hoping its rather original. And I'd be very glad if you reviewed. Constructive Criticism is very welcome. Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2: Such a Girly Thing to Do

**_Her Big Mouth, His Big Feet _**

_By Sailor Fantasy_

_Disclaimer:_ Don't Own, Don't Sue, Don't Bother.

_Summary:_ In which Sora ponders about life, discovers he is blitzball challenged, and receives several concussions for it.

_Pairings (at the moment):_ Riku+Sora, hints of Tidus+Everyone, Kairi+Sora Warnings: Thoughtful Sora, Jealous Riku, Obviously Confused Tidus.

_Not So Fun Author's Notes:_ Though I was hoping for more of a response and was disappointed to the lack of one, I am grateful to those of you who did review. 140 hits and so few reviews….Well, I really don't know what to say to that. But thank you for reading the story thus far. I can't promise more chapters soon with so little inspiration…but well, here's Chapter 2. Reviewer Response at the end. And join my YaoiBishies group; link in profile.

**Chapter 2: Such a Girly Thing to Do**

* * *

It truly was a beautiful day for a blitzball tournament, if Sora didn't mention so himself. Which he did on many, _many_ occasions to Riku, Tidus, and Wakka. Which resulted in Sora being pulverized by many, _many_ blitzballs. Hence why he was suffering from many, _many_ concussions on Destiny Island's beach shore.

Sora sighed. What a beautiful, boring day. He should've been out exploring—or doing something less boring than laying on the shore and tanning. Sora shuddered. Tanning. That was such a _girly_ thing to do.

At least Riku had promised him a blitzball game at 12, after he had finished 'The Plan'.

What exactly was 'The Plan', Sora had no clue. Nor did he want to find out, after last week's surprising and eerie events. Sora felt a warm blush creep onto his cheeks as he thought about it. Riku had been so acting so _weird_ as of late. Sora kept catching Riku staring at him at the oddest times, like while he was laughing or sweating stretched out on the beach after a long day of working out and training. It was so…_peculiar_.

But the weirdest thing was the way Riku had been acting that day that Sora dubbed 'The Most Embarrassing Day of Sora's Life Day'. Riku had been so serious…and Sora hadn't known how to react. So he had run off, just like a coward.

Sora scowled and punched the sand with the back of his fist. Sometimes he wished he could be more like Riku. Riku was courageous, bold, smooth with the ladies (and the guys, now that Sora thought about it), and everything else Sora was _not_. It was probably why Riku always beat him at everything—fighting, racing…hell, Sora wouldn't have been surprised if Riku even beat him in the 'assets' department.

Sora's blushed deepened. The asset's department. Where everything seemed to spring from—all the odd subtle hints from Riku.

Well, actually, now that Sora thought about it, Riku had been giving him subtle hints ever since they were kids. Subtle hints about what, Sora didn't know. A deeper friendship? An indestructible bond? A secret that could possibly break their unbreakable companionship? Did he really want to know? Sora could only guess. Only Riku really knew the answer.

Oh well. At least whatever it was hadn't stopped Riku from buying Sora a birthday present two days ago. A cool little silver crown on a silver chain—Sora had promised to never take it off his neck. It matched the crown chain Riku had given Sora for Christmas; the one he always had hanging out of his pocket. Both gave Sora a warm feeling, the thought that Riku had even thought of giving him any type of present. Of course, Sora shouldn't have been surprised. Riku—along with Kairi—had been giving him birthday and Christmas presents for years now. Riku, out of friendship. Kairi, out of what was possibly pity. But Riku had never given him something so expensive looking, or something that looked like it had been given a lot of thought. Usually he got a blitzball or a sword or some sport-related gift from Riku. This year was turning out to be extremely odd for their friendship.

Sora wondered if Riku was trying to tell him something through the gifts. He quickly brushed the thought off. If Riku had something to say to him, Riku would have told him. He was just bold like that.

Other than Riku's rather flamboyant gift, Sora had gotten some new gel from Kairi, which resulted in his hair to split into spikes. And no matter how much he tried to wet it, it stayed the same. Kairi blamed it on his unmanageable hair. Sora blamed it on her new gel. But the blaming game got them no where, since Sora's hair stayed exactly the same. Now he looked dumber than ever with his now spiked hair, and everyone stared at him wherever he went.

Stupid gel. Stupid Kairi.

Reason number 7 as to why Sora hated girls: They could never be wrong, not even for a moment.

But that was least important right now.

Sora was 15 years old, finally. Sora smiled, but it quickly crashed right back into a scowl. 15 years old, and still looked like he was 12.

Sora punched the sand again. And not only looked 12, _acted_ 12 as well. Sora really had some growing up to do, and if he didn't do it fast, everyone would always treat him like he was an immature brat. Which he wasn't.

Because the only immature brats around were those stupid girls, which included stupid Kairi and her stupid gel. So there.

Sora sighed, and looked at the Mickey Mouse watch his mother had given to him for his birthday. And what he saw made his heart skip a beat and jump to his feet.

He was late.

"Oh _shit_! Riku's gonna _kill_ me!"

* * *

"He's late," Riku calmly observed, looking at his own Disney watch. It had a silver puppy framed around the clock, and had been given to him as birthday gift from Sora. It was only because it was from Sora that he kept something so cute and girly on. "I'm gonna kill him."

"You did tell him 12, ya?" asked Wakka, juggling four blitzballs from hand to hand. How he did it so casually without looking or even concentrating baffled Riku. He was just about to advise Wakka that he should consider joining the circus when Tidus interrupted his train of thought.

"So what's up with Sora's hair lately, Riku? It's a bit…shocking, don't ya think?" Tidus asked curiously, cracking a smile.

"It looks like he was struck by lightning, ya?" Wakka joked, and all three boys broke into laughter. Even Riku had to admit, though Sora looked absolutely adorable, the hairstyle was horrendous. What had possessed Sora to do it, Riku could not tell. Maybe it had been that gel Kairi had given him.

It was amazing that Wakka was still juggling those four blitzballs, even while laughing. Riku was going to offer to manage his act of juggling blitzballs when he noticed a red blur sprinting towards the three boys.

He'd notice that red blur anywhere. That was _his_ red blur.

"Ah, there he is!" Riku cried out, and the other two stopped laughing to stare at the speeding red blur known as Sora. Smirking, and asking Wakka for a blitzball, Riku took aim with it. From the corner of his eye, Riku could see Wakka and Tidus soon doing the same. With a war cry that would've done a girl on a shopping spree proud, he targeted Sora and threw the blitzball with all his might towards the unsuspecting boy. Tidus' and Wakka's blitzballs soon followed his. Wakka's blitzballs, which had more strength, and Tidus' blitzball, that had been closer, reached Sora first. The three blitzballs from the two looked like it would've struck, but Riku knew better.

Sora had been expecting this.

Sora easily dodged the three blitzballs aimed at him, but failed to fully dodge Riku's, which hit him straight in the gut. With an exaggerated groan, Sora fell back onto his back. The force had knocked the wind out of him, and Riku was pretty sure Sora was going to have a bruise. He almost felt guilty.

Stupid blitzballs. Why did they have to be so hard, anyway?

"Hey, Sora! You okay?" Riku jumped down the rocks to be sure his best friend was all right. When he got there, Sora was pushing himself up, and looked quite winded, but otherwise okay. Riku ruffled his spiky hair in affection, while Sora just shook him off in annoyance. Riku gave his patented overconfident smirk. "I told you not to be late."

"I know, I know, but it wasn't my fault!" cried Sora. "You see, there was this big, _huge_ tidal wave and—!"

"Yeah, yeah." Riku rolled his eyes. "Just like when Frosty the Snowman kept stealing your money, when a certain _someone_ was just using his money to buy chocolate lube from the vending machine." Riku stopped, and narrowed his eyes at Sora. "What _were_ you using that for, anyway?"

Sora blushed and looked down at his lap. "It was the Easter Bunny. And besides, it tasted good on pancakes," he muttered.

Riku raised an eyebrow and decided not comment. It turned out he didn't have to, since Tidus leaped from behind him and onto Sora, forcing them to tumble down that the very small hill. Riku tried to squash down some of the jealousy that arose to what seemed to be a friendly pounce, but some of it still managed to rise into his head and cloud some of his more buoyant judgment.

Just _what_ did Sora use that chocolate lube for, anyway?

"Sora! You loser," laughed Tidus, tickling Sora mercilessly. Sora was laughing with tears running down his cheeks while trying to overturn Tidus. "Riku told you not to be late."

"Hahahaha—I know, I know! Hahaha—S-s-stop, can't _breathe_—hahaha…"

Riku was frowning, but hesitated as he took a step towards them. Tidus kind of looked like Sora—albeit, just a little more blonde and mature. But otherwise, they looked like identical twin brothers…they were both so _cute_. And Tidus was out of the closet—everyone on the island knew that Tidus was bisexual, and had gone out with both Wakka and Selphie. At the same time. Riku almost blushed at the thought—just what were they thinking, Riku wasn't sure he wanted to know. And seeing Tidus with Sora…maybe he should've taken Tidus up on his proposition. Maybe he shouldn't take his chances with Sora. Sora was obviously ambivalent, and he didn't even show if he was interested in something more than a friendship. Tidus at least was interested, and besides…he looked so much like Sora. It almost made Riku's heart melt.

Almost.

Tidus may look like Sora, but he sure wasn't Sora. Sora had Riku's heart, not Tidus.

"Hey guys, I thought we were going to play blitzball," Riku protested, sneering down at the both of them. Tidus and Sora stopped playing around, both looking correspondingly innocently guilty. Riku's lip quirked, almost going into a deeper frown.

Sora was the first to stumble up, then Tidus. "Of course we are!" Sora cheered, and it somehow lifted the jealousy off Riku's chest. Sora turned to Tidus, eyes glowing with happiness. "Right, Ti?"

"Right," agreed Tidus, who was flushed and seemed to be confused as to whether he should be looking at Sora or Riku. He glanced at Sora, then Riku, then back at Sora again.

"Ya, Riku's right." Wakka tumbled down lankily the rocks. Riku had forgotten that he was even there. "We should get this party on the road. The girls are waitin' on us."

"Girls?" Sora demanded. "What girls!" He whipped on both Tidus and Riku, glaring. "You said nothing about girls!"

"I don't even know what he's talking about," Riku said, lifting his hands in peace. "I didn't invite them." He looked pointedly at Tidus, who was looking very guilty.

"I may have mentioned something to Selphie about it," Tidus admitted, a light pink tinting his cheeks. "But I swear that's it."

"There are only two of them," Wakka acknowledged. "Only Selphie and Kairi, ya."

"Kairi!" Sora squeaked. "What is she doing here!"

Ever since what Riku dubbed 'My Asset's are So Much Bigger than Sora's Day', Kairi had been following and nagging Sora much more than usual. _Much_ more than usual. Rather than hanging out with her sill girlfriends, Kairi made it her life's duty to follow Sora around, know what Sora is doing and with who. Riku only knew this because he was with Sora 90 of the time, (the other 10 he spent sleeping and working on 'The Plan') and normally he had to ward Kairi off with the threat that he'd tell her Aunt Melinda. Her Aunt Melinda really wasn't her aunt, but she had adopted Kairi when she had landed on the island. Aunt Melinda hated Sora and his family, and often told Kairi not to hang out with 'poor trash' like Sora. On the other hand, Aunt Melinda adored Riku and had asked him to marry her 'darling' Kairi. He had flat out refused, saying that he was interested in someone else on the island. Even after that, she kept insisting that he come to dinner. If she didn't stop persisting, he'd soon have to tell Aunt Melinda that he was gay, and rather disliked her darling Kairi.

Riku suspected that Kairi actually liked Sora, but it relieved Riku that Sora _hated_ girls.

Everything about them made Sora's skin crawl. It was probably because of the childhood trauma Sora's mother, Kairi, and Selphie had put on him, dressing him in gowns and such in replacement for a daughter or sister they never had. It had made Sora so disgusted and distrustful with girls that he could barely stand in a room with one.

Sora would never give Kairi the time of day.

"Sora" Kairi sung, waving from the rocks. Sora was blushing, staring up at her. "Hi! I hope you win!"

Never. Why would Sora ever want to be with Kairi? She was nothing but a big ball of fluff.

"Are you crazy Kairi? Its my Tidus who's going to win!" Selphie hollered, winking at Tidus. "Right, Ti?"

Tidus grinned up at her and nodded. "Yup!" he agreed.

"Well, Sora, you'll win for me, right?" asked Kairi shyly—slyly—blushing lightly.

Never. Sora would never go for a person like Kairi.

Sora blushed an even brighter red. "Umm…sure."

Riku's eyes widened.

Would he?

End Chapter 2

* * *

Chapter 3: In which Kairi makes a decent cheerleader, just not a decent stalker.

More Fun Author's Notes: Hope you guys enjoyed this. It actually didn't take very long for me to update this, ya? Haha, I really like making fun with Wakka's 'ya'. It's very addicting, no? I really hope you guys review; although I'm very glad people are actually looking into this ficlet, not enough people are reviewing, and I'd hate to be uninspired about a story. BTW, my group YaoiBishies is up and running, so if you want to take a good look at it, get sneak peaks at fics (mine and others), artwork and such, and know when I update, well, there you go. Now Reviewers' Responses (because they really deserve it). Please don't ask where the plushies came from: my mind is a sick one.

**Xjadedx8**: You ARE the first. Congratulations! You are rewarded with a **Riku silver plushie**! This chapter came pretty fast, especially with my thought process as it is . Thank you for reviewing! **Korei47**: Ah, a YaoiBishies member! (glomps) You get a **Riku golden plushie**! I had thought all of my members abandoned me after going such a long time without updates! Oh, you won't have to wait long after this for some asset action (wink wink nudge nudge). Thanks for reviewing! **Flakes-of-snow**: Thank you so much! I never thought of myself as a humor genre writer…but looking back at most of my fics, ya, I guess I'm one, lol. Asset action not too far, I promise you. For reviewing, you get a **Riku bronze plushie**! Thank you for reviewing! **Leirbag Rex**: (glomp) My all-time fave muse! I'm so glad you reviewed. You get the **Riku platinum plushie!** Woohoo! **Darkness-heart Abbie**: Really? I'm so glad it did. For your review, you get the **Wakka bronze plushie**! Thank you for reviewing! **The Ethereal Butterfly**: Such a mysterious name. Yeah, it _is_ a pretty well-known legend, isn't it? Lol, thanks for reviewing, and for reviewing you get a **Tidus bronze plushie**!

Don't forget to join YaoiBishies group; link in my profile! And **_REVIEW_**!


	3. Chapter 3: Those Damn Bubbles

_**Her Big Mouth, His Big Feet **_

_By Sailor Fantasy_

**Disclaimer**: Yes. I really do own KH. My name is Peter Pan, and you can mail me at Under the Tree Stump, North Star, Neverland, 00001.

**Summary**: In which Kairi makes a decent cheerleader, but not a decent girlfriend.

**Pairings** (_at the moment_): Sora+Riku, Riku+Sora, one-sided Kairi+Sora

**Fun Author's Notes**: Wow! Thanks for all the reviews guys! I really do appreciate it—I hope to receive tons more. When we last left Sora and the gang, they were about to play a blitzball game. This chapter is for all you RikuxSora fans, and you'll find out why in the chapter. (wink wink nudge nudge). BTW, see the warning? It does not mean I hate Kairi. I dislike her, sure, but don't hate her. (bows) Thank you, and enjoy.

**Warnings**: Some Kairi bashing, Yaoi (slash)

**_Chapter 3: Those Damn Bubbles

* * *

_**

Dodge. Toss. Roll. Catch.

"Woohoo! Go Tidus go!" Selphie cheered from the sidelines, pompoms in hand.

Dodge. Toss. Roll. Catch.

"Yeah, Sora! Move that butt!" called out Kairi, bustling and hustling her pompoms and causing a major blush on Sora' cheeks. He sincerely hoped Kairi wouldn't cause him to lose his concentration, like she usually did. But…did she just tell him to move his butt? What was _that_ supposed to mean? Maybe he had heard wrong. Wasn't he supposed to be moving his arms and legs?

What was he doing again? Oh yeah.

Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

"OW!"

"You should've been moving that butt a bit more, eh, Sora?" shouted Riku, a mischievous look on his face.

Damn it! Kairi had made him lose concentration, and even Riku was teasing him about moving his butt. What exactly were they talking about, anyway? Was there something on his butt that was causing them to pay attention to it? He turned his waist around, just to see if anything was there. He was rewarded with getting hit in the back of his head by a blitzball.

After that for some reason, everything went black, and when everything came to again, everyone was above him. Boy, did his head hurt. He had the oddest feeling that he had missed something.

Was that blood coming out of Tidus's nose? Ewlll.

"Man, Tidus you sure hit him pretty hard with that blitzball, ya?"

Tidus grunted, sending a slight glare in Riku's direction. "Yeah, I got that understood."

"Sora, are you all right?" Riku asked, and the concern in his voice made Sora's bones tingle and his stomach flip flop. The feeling worried Sora; this entire tingle-flip-flop thing could be a real serious medical condition!

"Ummm…" For some reason, Sora couldn't see or think straight. Someone's hand was on his thigh. Kind of really, _really_ high on his thigh. And he felt really, _really_ hot because of it. He swallowed. "Can the hand currently occupying my thigh please remove itself immediately?"

There was a slight shuffle, everyone moved a bit, and Riku came back into view with a light pink tinge on his cheeks. "Uh, heh heh, sorry bout that Sora."

"Are you?" asked Kairi suspiciously, her pompoms framing her face. She was scowling at Riku. "I mean, why was it on _my_ Sora's thigh in the first place?

"Would you calm down?" Riku snarled, and Sora saw his eyes flash dangerously. Not a good sign. At _all_. "And who said he was 'your' Sora, anyway?

Sora didn't really want to hear to an argument. It was the last thing he wanted to endure. He was already suffering from what was probably a concussion, a huge headache, a fever, and what seemed to be a stomach virus (why else would his stomach go topsy turvy on him?), and an argument ignited by Kairi and carried on by Riku would only make him feel just oh so much worse…

Sora blinked in confusion. He had heard something about 'your Sora'. What were they arguing about again?

"What do you mean?" Kairi demanded, her scowl turning into a glare. Sora had to admit, the look didn't make her any more attractive. In fact, with her cheeks puffing up the way they were and her lips thinning, she looked a bit like…a koala? Was that the animal he was searching for? No, Koalas were much too hairy, and a lot cuter to boot. "To anyone else it's obvious that Sora's my **_boyfriend_**!"

That stopped Sora's line of thought completely.

Boyfriend?

"_Your_ boyfriend?" Riku sneered, and his face was turning red in anger. Definitely not a good sign. "Since when? I don't remember hearing anything about Sora being _anyone's_ boyfriend!" He turned his face to Sora, who was still lying quite dazedly on the sandy ground. "You're not her boyfriend, right?" The question seemed to be said in some sort of desperation. Sora ignored any thoughts that erupted from any possible underlying emotion that may have been in Riku's voice in favor of one train of thought.

Her **boyfriend**?

"It's not something that had to be _said_, idiot," said Kairi, snidely in her squeaky voice. "It's rather clear, how Sora and I just connect all the time. And we're always hanging out…"

Her boyfriend? As in, _Kairi's_ boyfriend? As in, red-haired bratty snobbish cheerleading **girl** Kairi's boyfriend?

"Hanging out doesn't count if you're stalking him, stupid!" snapped Riku.

Oh _hell_ no!

Reasons numbers 8, 9, and 10, respectively, as to why Sora hated girls: If you were nice to them, they automatically thought that you liked them and were flirting with them. And as soon as they thought that, they became all possessive. And number 10 was simple—as far as Sora was concerned, most cheerleaders were girls (or really flamboyant gay guys that Sora considered girls anyway), and _all_ cheerleaders had extremely annoying squeaky voices that hurt your ears and caused you to go deaf later on in life. Stupid sirens, all of them. Stand to close to a cheerleader and you were lining yourself up for some ear drum damage.

Well, at least that's what Sora kept telling himself. Back to the matter at hand, however…

"Kairi!" cracked Sora, causing both to stop yelling and flushing. "Stop that! I don't ever remember agreeing to be your boyfriend!"

Sora watched in slow motion as Kairi opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water—fish, was that what she looked like when she was upset?—as she blushed more out of embarrassment than anger now. Finally, her lips closed tight and her bottom lip began to quiver. Sora felt the panic in his stomach before his mind even registered what was about to happen. He should have predicted this. Her eyes were already filling up with tears. Oh no, not the waterworks. Anything but the waterworks.

Reason number 11 as to why Sora hated girls: They got so damn emotional and uggggggghhhhhh why did Kairi have to launch herself onto him? Now his shirt was going to be all wet and Sora really hoped she wouldn't blow her nose on him. That would be downright disgusting and then some. And besides, it was his third favorite shirt! He had gotten it from Riku the year before as a 'just because' gift.

"Oh Sora!" she wailed. "Why do you have to be such a loyal friend!"

Sora was even more befuddled than before. What the hell was she talking about now?

"We don't need to hide our relationship from anybody! Our love is strong enough for any criticism that may arise—!"

Say _what_?

"What are you talking about, Kairi?" Sora demanded. "You're not making any sense! Criticism from whom?"

Kairi pushed herself away and off of him to narrow her eyes and point dramatically in Riku's and Tidus' directions. "From _them_! The **_fags_**!"

Sora felt his stomach drop at each word that came out of Kairi's mouth. He didn't like the word 'fag', and he definitely didn't like that it was referring to both his best friends. He scowled at Kairi, and felt a great dislike coil in his stomach. Usually, any insults would bounce off of Sora, but this went too far. It was about his friends! He couldn't allow that.

"Kairi!" Sora snapped angrily, and Kairi froze. No one had ever really seen Sora so angry looking. "Just what is your problem, calling people names like that? Just because they're different—you should be really ashamed of yourself, you stupid snobby know-it-all overemotional assuming possessive cheerleading hussy!"

Hussy. Sora's ears turned red. Where had he heard _that_ before?

Kairi's cheeks were by this time extremely red. Her lips were thinner than ever now, and her eyes were overfilled with water and were beginning to turn pink. Sora stepped back, and was suddenly _very_ regretful of his outburst. Sure, Kairi had it coming but now he was beginning to feel bad, seeing her turn that not-so-attractive burgundy color with matching eyes to boot.

Sora watched in horror as Kairi's mouth slowly opened, and streamed out the loudest wail Sora had ever heard. Tears poured out of her eyes like mini waterfalls as she quickly turned around and began running down the path nearby. Selphie looked as if she wanted to chase after her, but truth was that she loved Tidus like a brother, and she and Kairi simply weren't as close. And, Selphie reasoned, if Kairi had the gall to spill those words out by herself, she could go and comfort herself _by_ herself.

Sora, however, wasn't so cruel.

"Are you guys okay?" Sora asked Riku and Tidus, and after some quick nods, Sora followed after Kairi. No matter how much he hated what Kairi had said, she was still his friend. And when a friend needed comforting, Sora had promised he'd always be there. No matter who was wrong, and no matter what. He'd always be there.

Behind him, Sora heard familiar light footsteps and while running turned slightly to see Riku not too far behind him. Sora slowed down. He could recognize Riku's noiseless steps from anywhere—Riku was really good at sneaking around. "Hey Riku. Something up?"

Riku caught up easily and jogged neatly in place with Sora. He was looking at Sora with appreciation, and something else Sora couldn't identify. His eyes were somewhat glazed over, and he was giving Sora that look that guys usually gave their girlfriends before they snogged the living daylights out of each other in those stupid soap operas his mom watched. Sora shuddered. If there was anything Sora hated more than girls, it was their stupid soap operas. Soap operas were girly, disgustingly overdone, and extremely predictable!

Reason number 12 as to why Sora hated girls: It was because of girls that trash like soap operas came on television. And even worse, soap operas usually led girls into crying, which made Sora wonder why they even bothered to watch it. Why would you watch something that made you cry? It made absolutely no sense to Sora. Girls crying made Reason number 13 as to why Sora hated girls. A girl crying is worse than telling Sora that there is no Santa. And telling Sora that there is no Santa was pretty horrible.

"Sora," Riku began, looking rather uneasy. "Thanks for sticking up for me back there. I don't know what I would've said or done to Kairi if you hadn't stepped in…"

That warm feeling was returning back to Sora's stomach, and Sora couldn't help but think some light romantic theme song was playing somewhere in the background. Kind of like those girly anime where the girl or boy confronts the love of their life to express their feelings, except that there were no platoons of bubbles floating around. As Riku watched him with half-lidded eyes, Sora's stomach began to flip-flop again.

What did all of this mean? Sora had absolutely no clue. Maybe it was his body telling him that he spent too much quality time with his mother and being stalked by Kairi.

"Oh don't worry about it. She had it coming," Sora easily flipped. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, since he had nothing else better to do with them. He also slowed down to a speed walk. "She shouldn't have said things like that."

"Yeah." Riku stuffed his hands in his pockets, too. "About that…"

Sora waved the entire comment off. "Riku, you don't have to explain anything to me! We're best friends, and whether you like girls or guys or turtles—it doesn't matter to me." Sora gave Riku a heart melting smile. "Just as long as we're together, nothing else really matters."

It was after Sora said this that he became lost in his surroundings since suddenly, Riku's hands were no longer in his pockets and were now roundabout tightly around Sora's waist. Sora felt a rogue blush rush to his cheeks as Riku's heartbeat accelerated, and it took him only a moment to realize that some of the rapid beats belonged to _him_. Riku was hot, Sora felt hot, and he needed to cool down immediately before he did something drastic like—

Riku leaned down and kissed Sora's forehead. Sora felt faint and wobbly legged. That was a new one, he thought distractedly. Wobbly legged, right? His stomach was walking the tightrope, or was the tightrope, and it felt all stringy and extremely warm. Sora had a feeling that not even the doctor could fix whatever was wrong with him. Maybe all these feelings were all in his head—maybe what he needed right now was a nice psychologist. Or a psychiatrist.

Or maybe what he needed right now was Riku. And his forehead kisses.

"That's all I want too, Sora," Riku whispered into his ear. Sora melted into warm Sora goo. _Please say that again_, Sora mentally pleaded. "I only want to be with you…as long as I'm with you, nothing else matters."

And that was when Sora swore he saw the bubbles.

**End Chapter 3

* * *

**

**Chapter 4**: In which Sora gets in touch with his mother's intuition.

**More Fun Author's Notes**: I hope you guys enjoyed! Don't forget to review. And feel free to join my group YaoiBishies, link in my profile. It is a great group dedicated to couples such as RikuxSora, YukixShuichi and others! It also has previews of my fics, plenty of KH pics, and fanart coming soon! I'm also looking for a BETA. Anyone interested? Now Reviewers' Responses (because they really deserve it), and I hope you review some more. It's really inspiring!

-**insert amusing name here**-: Gold Riku plushie for you! And I know…silly legend. I had my own experiments done, and it's _not_ exactly true. LMAO! So true about Kairi. Thanks for the review!

**The Ethereal Butterfly**: catches cookie and gobbles Thank you soooo much! I love your reviews. Bronze Riku plushie.

**Darkness-heart abbie**: Thank you for reviewing! And you're very welcome…SilverSora plushie for you!

**Bob the builder:** Die? haha…I'm glad you're a true fan! Bronze Sora plushie for you

**Yurikitsune**: Thank you! Silver Wakka plushie for you!

**HyperRme**: LOL, I agreeI really don't believe Kairi and Sora belong together. Silver Tidus plushie for you!

**St. Mayhew**: I was hoping that this was rather original. Thank you for reviewingBronze Tidus Plushie for you!

**XxXChainsXxX**: Wow, I'm really glad that you think so! Thank you for reviewingSilver Riku plushie for you!

**Flakes-of-Snow**: Thank you soooo much! I'm you love you plushie…here's another one for reviewing once more! Gold Sora plushie for you!

**Angel**: Really? That's so flattering! Gold Wakka plushie for you!

**Whore-For-Words**: Of course. (wink) Bronze Seifer plushie for you!


	4. Chapter 4: Mother's Intuition

_**Her Big Mouth, His Big Feet **_

_By Sailor Fantasy_

**Disclaimer**: Even though Riku is my secret lover, he doesn't belong to me. How sad, right?

**Summary**: In which Sora gets in touch with his mother's intuition.

**Pairings** (_at the moment_): Some Sora+Riku, some Tidus+Sora hints, and unrequited Kairi+Sora

**Fun Author's Notes**: Thanks for all the reviews guysit's truly appreciated. When we last left the group, Riku and Sora were off to see Kairi. Let's see how that turns out. And don't forget to review! Reviewers' Response at the bottom, and don't forget to check out my new story **To Be Someone Without No One. **

**Warnings**: Yaoi (slash) and a bitchy Kairi. PS: I hate this chapter...I promise the next one will be better.

* * *

Sora groaned as he walked home that evening, trying to regain his dignity after suffering through Kairi's wailing fest. Scowling at the memory, Sora kicked a nearby rock—it was his fault, really. He should have been smart enough to not have had both Kairi and Riku in the same area—much less on the same island—_especially_ after that huge argument they'd had on the beach.

Kicking another rock, Sora allowed the memories of the past hour consume him.

'_You are **no one**!' Kairi had screamed at Riku, who's face was shadowed with fury. He had just apologized and had done nothing wrong—as far as Sora had seen—but Riku held his tongue nevertheless as Kairi ranted and raved. 'You tricked me into being your friend so that you'd have a reason to hang out with me and Sora. But all you had wanted was to have Sora to yourself—you never even considered how I **felt**—we had **all** been friends—!" Her sentences were broken as she gasped through her countless tears. Sora stepped more into the doorway to try to calm her._

'_Kairi—!' Sora tried to interrupt, but she merely pushed him back out the door and into Riku's open arms. Together, they stared at Kairi—one stare solemn, the other full of anguish. _

'_You guys can **have** each other now!' Kairi snarled, tears and mascara streaming down her cheeks. Sora couldn't help but wonder how Riku would look if **his** mascara began to run. He wiped the thought straight out of his head—the last thing he ever wanted was to see Riku cry. _

'_You don't have to worry about me anymore…You—Sora—you were probably just playing with my feelings from the beginning. You **knew** I loved you! You knew it—and yet you allowed to me to make an ass of myself knowing that you were in love with Riku the entire time!'_

Sora glared at a rock that he had just kicked. Reason number 14 as to why he did not like girls: They always assume that you _know_.

'_But Kairi!' Sora pleaded, desperately scrambling up from Riku's arms. He had to get some sense into Kairi—no matter what, no matter if she was a girl or not, she was still his friend. Riku had tightened his grip at first when Sora struggled to get out of his arms, but at the sound of Sora's voice, he loosened his grip entirely. 'I don't love—!'_

'_I never want to see either of you two again!' Kairi yelled, holding the door now. 'I hate you!'_

'_But Kairi!'_

'_I hate you!'_

_And then she slammed the door shut, leaving both Sora and Riku shaken and out in the cold, drizzling rain._

Sora felt an emptiness that rivaled the Grand Canyon in his stomach. After that scene with Kairi, Riku had impassively offered to walk Sora home and following Sora's just as vacant decline, had went home. Sora couldn't help but feel that he was missing something very important with Kairi's upsetting behavior and Riku being all miserable.

"I mean," Sora whispered to himself. "Why should Riku be sad? Sure, Kairi was his friend, but he shouldn't have looked so depressed—it's not like she was his best friend or anything…unless…"

Sora stopped in sudden realization. His eyes were wide and drizzled rain still falling dripped down his cheeks looking much like tears.

_Unless…unless Riku really is in love with **Kairi**._

Sora snapped his head up, that one thought running rampant through his head. The Paopu Tree was in front of him…it was the main symbol of love on the island. It was legend that if a person shared a Paopu fruit with someone else, their destinies would be entwined forever. Thinking about it, Sora felt even colder inside, staring up at the renowned tree. Sora felt as if he was being mocked by the tree as it stood tall, its branches swaying with the wind. He let out an empty laugh as tears began building up in his eyes. _I'm being awfully silly_, he thought. _Why do I feel as if everything is turning out unfair?_

Sora knew he should've been feeling sad for Riku instead of feeling bad for himself. After all, Riku was the one who lost more than friendship with Kairi…he lost what was probably his first love. Sora was being selfish. He was just considering his own feelings, when he should've been considering Riku's feelings as well. It had been Riku who had been called all of those nasty names by Kairi, it had been Riku who had witnessed Kairi's declaration of love, and it had been Riku who had been fully rejected. It wasn't fair to Riku—it wasn't fair at all. Instead of feeling sorry for himself Sora should have been comforting Riku, who had always been there for him when Sora had needed him to be. He should've felt ashamed for being so selfish. He should've felt horrible for Riku. He should've wanted to hurt Kairi in the same way that she had hurt Riku, and convince her that Riku was the one for her and not Sora. Sora should've felt this way.

But he didn't. All he felt was cold and lonely.

_Mom and Dad are probably worried now_, thought Sora without his normal enthusiasm. _I should get home._

But it didn't help him walk any faster through the now pouring rain.

* * *

"Sora!" Sora's mother, Sara, cried as soon as he stepped through the door, soaking wet. Large droplets of water dripped from his still messy bangs and onto the house's wooden floor. "You're _drenched!_ Why didn't you get home earlier—oh my goodness, what happens if you catch the flu? Oh my poor _baby_!"

It was then she proceeded in draping herself over him and sobbing her eyes out. Sora rolled his eyes and pushed his mother away, irritated. "Mom," he complained. "I'm not a baby anymore! Stop treating me like one."

"But Sora-dear—!" she howled, tears pouring out of her eyes.

It was at this point that his nose decided to sneeze. Sora cursed his nose's timing as Sora's mother gasped (rather theatrically) and turned particularly pale. "Sora…" she whispered, tearing up.

"Mom…it's not what you think…" Sora began, backing into the front door. He briefly wondered if he could make it out before his mother pounced, but then changed his mind. His mother was a master predator, one that was extremely talented in random assailment. There was absolutely no way he'd be able to escape in time.

"You caught a cold!" she wailed, catching him in her skinny (yet oddly strapping) arms and holding his face to her…somewhat large bosom. Sora felt not only a bit disgusted, but suffocated as well. And not in just a psychological way, either.

Reason number 15 as to why Sora hated girls: They were always subject to suffocating someone else with their basketball-sized chests…well, some of them, anyway. Both Kairi and Selphie were the exception to the rule.

"I did not, mom!" ranted Sora, blushing furiously as he tried to push away from his mother. "I'm fine! You always do this to me—geez mom, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm not a kid anymore! Mom! What if someone is looking into the window? What if they see this? Mom, are you listening to me? You're smothering me! _Daaaaaad_!"

It was his one secret weapon against his mother. His father—tough as nails and twice as sharp. He despised it when Sara spoiled and 'softened' his one and only son. 'It makes him fruity!' his father often complained. He often praised Riku's, Tidus', and Wakka's presence in Sora's life, saying that if Sora hadn't grown up with such Blitzball junkies that he might as well put a dress on Sora and called him his daughter.

Mamoru looked up at Sara from over his newspaper, a scowl on his face. He was sitting at his normal spot at the kitchen table. "Sara."

"But Mamo-darling!" she whined, still glomping Sora.

"Sara."

"He's sick!" she cried, eyes welling up with tears. "He's probably already coming down with the flu…or worse! What happens if he gets that new flu that's going around…umm…" Sara struggled with her words for a minute. "That one that turns you into a bird!"

"A bird?" inquired Sora, bewildered. And then it hit him: "The _bird_ flu, mom? You can only get that from eating chicken! Or is it turkey?"

"Sora."

Sora turned his eyes back onto his father. "Yes, dad?"

"Tidus is waiting upstairs for you," reported Mamoru, returning back to his paper. "He's been up there in your room for a while now."

Sora's eyes brightened. "What? Really? Why?"

A hand landed on his shoulder, and Sora cringed as he saw the new glint in his mother's eyes. She had a smile that made Sora's skin prickle. "Isn't it obvious, Sora-darling? He's waiting for you to come upstairs so that you two can be _alone_."

"He's waiting upstairs so that he doesn't have to deal with _you_, mom," snapped Sora, rolling his eyes.

"Don't think I don't know, Sora-dear!" declared Sara, raising an eyebrow at her son. "I see the way you and Tidus look at each other! I see the lovebites when you come back from supposedly playing blitzball—"

"Sara." Mamoru was glaring at her from the top of his newspaper again. Sara, of course, ignored him.

"I don't think you don't know—I know you don't know, mom! What looks? What lovebites? Those are bruises!" said Sora, exasperatedly.

"Of course, Sora-dear," she said, patronizingly. "I used that story once, too, you know. Mamo-darling can tell you."

"Sara. Inappropriate."

"But Mamo-darling!"

"Sora. Upstairs. You're being rude to your guest."

Eager to get away from his insane mother, Sora immediately agreed and rushed upstairs. Tidus was waiting outside his bedroom door, sitting on the tiled floor with a blitzball in hand. There was a faint blush on his cheeks.

So, he had heard. Sora gulped, wondering how he could explain that his mother was an absolute nutcase. Then again, he figured Tidus had long figured that out since the first time he had met Sara over ten years ago.

Sora scratched the back of his spiky head, looking and feeling awkward. "Umm…hi."

Tidus looked just as uncomfortable. "Hey."

"I guess heard all of that, huh? My mom can be a bit…weird, sometimes."

Tidus chuckled, although it sounded a little forced. "Yea, I know. Mine too. But _she_ at least has good reason to act like that, I think."

Sora stared at Tidus, and then it hit him. He blushed. Oh right—Tidus was bisexual. The discomfort increased immensely. "Oh, right."

There was a pregnant pause and Tidus, sensing the tension, stood up. He was biting his lip. "Do you want me to leave?"

Sora, not sure what he wanted, just shook his head. He wished the discomfort feeling would stop. When Tidus began looking doubtful, Sora put on a smile for him. "Of course not, Ti! I want you to be here…it's just that, well, with everything that happened today after the blitzball game…well, Kairi was out of line for that, you know? I'm really sorry for that."

Tidus smiled at him, and Sora couldn't help but flush at that the look. Tidus really was cute…

Sora stopped at that, a darker blush replacing the former one. Since when did he believe that Tidus was _cute_?

"It's okay," Tidus breezed off, heading towards Sora and putting his hand on his shoulder. Sora looked at Tidus' hand before looking up into his blue eyes. It was a lot like looking into a mirror. Tidus tilted his head a bit, causing his blonde messy bangs to cover his eyes. Sora found curiosity there. "So," Tidus started, "what happened after you left after Kairi? I know Riku was chasing after you…and then I came over here to see if you were okay but your parents told me you weren't home yet…"

Sora sighed, knowing that he probably shouldn't talk about the entire episode with Tidus but feeling as if he needed to get it off his chest. "It was horrible, Ti. Kairi was crying and Riku…Riku…."

Sora looked down at his big shoes, suddenly feeling depressed again. He didn't want to think about Riku anymore…not after realizing Riku's feelings for Kairi.

And perhaps Sora's own feelings for Riku in the process…

Tidus, for some odd reason, seemed to understand and just slid his hand down Sora's arm and took him by the hand. Sora was feeling so low that he couldn't even look him in the eye. "Don't worry about it," reassured Tidus, pulling Sora into a hug. "He'll get over it—they both will."

Riku get over his feelings? Sora somehow doubted it, but he didn't say anything in response. As Sora returned Tidus' embrace, Sora went deeper into thought—Riku didn't seem like the type to just get over feelings even if he _was_ hurt…in fact, Riku would probably act more on his feelings if that person knew about his passion toward them. Then again, Riku didn't seem the type to not say anything about his feelings either.

It was all so confusing. Sora let out a breath of air, nuzzling Tidus' silk vest. Boy, did it feel good against his forehead. But not like Riku's silk tank—

"Ah HA!" cried Sara, startling both boys. Tidus nearly jumped out of his skin and onto the ceiling; Sora sprang away from Tidus, feeling as if he was just caught red handed. Sara was pointing and smiling at them from the top of the staircase. "I knew it!"

"Mom!" Sora cracked, his heartbeat still rapid. "What the hell!"

"Ms. Sara?" questioned Tidus, dangling from the chandelier. He finally let go and fell onto the hard wood floor.

"Just Sara," Sora's mother flipped, before that evil glint returned to her eyes. "You boys should've told me—I would've just left you alone to your activities but nooo…Denial is not just a lake, Sora-dear."

"It's a river, mom," Sora protested. "And we weren't doing anything!"

But Sara didn't seem to want to hear it. "Suure, Sora. I believe you." She winked at Tidus, who blushed in return. "I'll just leave you alone by yourselves so that you can—_ahem_—return to your…activities."

And she hopped back down the stairs, humming quite gleefully to herself. Sora only shook his head and grinned bashfully at a bewildered Tidus. Why couldn't he be in a normal family? "As you can see, Ti, I'm obviously adopted."

Tidus stared at him for a long time before laughing.

"Sora, your family is so _weird_."

**End Chapter

* * *

**

**Next chapter**: In which Riku reveals 'The Plan' and commences 'Operation: Kiss Sora.'

**Not-so-fun Author's Notes**: This chapter is not my best. After rereading it and rereading it, I tried to make it better. But please review, okay? It'll help me out of this damn slump that I'm trying to shake.

**On the other Hand...:** Here's some Reviewers' Responses! And don't forget to check out my new story **To Be Someone Without No One** and to join my group **YaoiBishies**!

**DarknessHeart Abbie**: Don't you hate it when that happens? There are certain stories I love (cough cough Stygian Solace) that I wish were updated a lot more often—but I really understand why some author's take a long time. Life intervenes and such, which is why this chapter is so late. For this review you get a Platinum Sora plushie!

**Robinfan**: I'm soooo flattered! I hope you still think so after this horrible chapter…X.X. Ugh. But thank you so much for reviewing! You get a Silver Tidus plushie!

**Bob the builder**: LOLDon't worry, you can look. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter so much—compared to this crappy one, it's golden. Thank you so much for your review…and for it you get a Platinum Tidus Plushie!

**Flakes-of-snow**: God, I really, really hope you don't think this story is going downhill after this trashy chapter, lol. I wouldn't blame you thoughfor your awesome dedication to reviewing for this story, you get a Platinum Riku Plushie!

**Mooncat011**: I hope this is enough Sora for youthank you for the review! You receive the Bronze Sora plushie!

**hyperRme**: LolWe'd all like for Kairi to blown off somewhere, wouldn't we? Thanks for reviewing, and this time you get a Silver Seifer plushie!

**Yurikitsune**: I try to keep all characters in character…thanks for reviewing, and for your review you get a Gold Sora plushie!

**TenkunoMeiou**: I'm so glad that you think so! Thank you for reviewing…and for your review, you get a Silver Sora plushie!

**SKF**: Aww, why thank you. I wish I got more reviews too (begins wailing) It must be because I'm such a horrible writer! (cough cough) Well, anyway, thank you so much for reviewingfor your review you receive a Bronze Riku plushie!


	5. Ch 5: While Among Those With Hormones

**Her Big Mouth, His Big Feet**

_By Fantasy-chan_

**Disclaimer**: For the record, sex with Riku is fan-tabulous. However, he doesn't belong to me.

**Pairings**: Riku x Sora, hints of Sora + Riku, hints of Tidus + Riku + Sora

**Uber-Fun Author's Notes**: WOW! What a response…thank you guys so much for the encouragement and reviews! (Huggles to all my reviewers). I love you all, and for all the reviews, you have been rewarded with an uber-fast chapter of HBMHBF!

**Summary**: In which Riku reveals 'The Plan' and commences 'Operation: Kiss Sora.'

**Chapter 5**: While Among Those With Hormones, Hop On

* * *

Sora woke up the next morning with a lot less on his chest—after a long talk with Tidus, Sora felt loads better. Sure, he still felt a bit dreadful considering Riku's feelings, and of course he felt pangs of guilt of having those feelings only because Riku didn't feel that way towards _him_, instead of just feeling bad of Riku being rejected by Kairi…but Sora had promised Tidus that he wouldn't let it get to him today. And that he wouldn't.

After eating a quick breakfast of Eggo waffles with chocolate lube on top (he had made sure neither of his parents were around; the last thing he wanted was for his mother to go on a gay pride _ballistic_), Sora made his way towards the shore, hoping to find some of the guys. Sure enough, Riku was there several blueprints lying in the sand in front of him, studying them absorbedly.

Trying not to feel uncomfortable, Sora jogged up to him. Riku stalled for a moment before looking up at Sora. They shared a moment of silence, blue eyes gazing intently into green. Discomfort swam around them in the air of anxiety—neither of them moved, neither of them blinked. This wasn't the uneasiness that Sora had felt last night with Tidus—no, this was an uneasiness that only could've come up from years of devotion and love.

Questions flew around them, all left unanswered. Was this really how it was going to be, after all this time of being best friends? After so many years of building such a strong bond—would they really let their friendship deteriorate? Would they really allow a _girl_ to come between them, even after declaring a full-frontal war against the specie that _was_ girl? After all that time of configuring the '**He-Man Woman-Haters Club**' with the awesome big blue sign that said 'No Girls Allowed?' Would they really allow their friendship to end like this?

_Could_ they really allow their friendship to end like this?

Sora stared at Riku, who stared back. They fought without words, emotions flying between the two. Neither of them wanted to end their friendship—yet neither of them wanted to admit to their true feelings. After all, who could blame them? Rejection was a bitch and a half.

Sora relaxed a bit. But secrets were okay, right? Everyone had secrets—and it wasn't as if Sora had to tell Riku his feelings…whatever those feelings might be. Sora broke the spell by scratching the back of his head and looking towards the deep blue ocean. '_This is silly_,' he thought belatedly. '_I don't even know my feelings toward him, and I here I am acting stupid.'_

Sora looked back into that endless green, and suddenly everything was understood. Sora grinned at him. Riku slowly but surely grinned back.

"Hey," said Riku.

"Hey guy," Sora greeted, plopping down next to Riku Indian-style. He took the top blueprint into his hands and looked closely at it. The picture on it looked a lot like…French toast sticks? Popsicle sticks? "What's this? A new wall for the club?"

Riku chuckled and snatched the blueprint out of Sora's clumsy hands and rolled it up. "No, no…it's my raft, stupid. And its name is High Wind."

Sora scrunched up his nose. "High Wind? You always pick out the trashiest names, Riku. It _should_ be named Excalibur." He snatched the rolled-up blueprint back.

Riku scrunched up his nose in turn. "_Excalibur_? Just how original are you anyway?" His tone was disdainful and condescending, but Sora took no offense to it. Riku's face slowly transformed into a smirk. "Excalibur…it's almost as good as _your_ name, _Sora_."

Riku knew Sora hated his name. Sora hated the fact that his name so closely resembled his mother's, and besides that, it was a _girl's_ name. "Shut up, Riku!" Sora snapped. And then curiosity washed over him, as he glanced back at the blueprint in his hands. "What…what do you need a blueprint for, anyway?"

Was Riku planning on running away without him? Sora tried to suppress a surge of anger. That_ bastard!_ Riku knew how much he wanted to travel the world, and here he was, leaving Sora out of things. Sora didn't care if Riku loved Kairi or not and was hurt because of her rejection...Riku was _not_ going to leave the island without dragging Sora along with him!

Before Sora could verbally rip into Riku, Riku answered "It's all a part of 'The Plan'. _Our_ plan."

That stopped Sora completely. Their plan? "Our plan?" Sora asked, confused.

Riku nodded, distracted. His eyes became hazy and Sora knew that meant Riku was deep in thought. "Yeah…remember when we were talking about traveling the world and stuff? Well that got me thinking…why don't we? We're not being forced to stay on this island…we're forcing _ourselves_ to stay on this island. We think we have this obligation to stay here, when in fact we're just making ourselves miserable. So why _shouldn't_ we be able to leave? We have every right to…especially with a mother like yours, Sora," Riku teased.

Sora normally would've rolled his eyes, but instead he just looked contemplative. Riku was absolutely right. What obligation _did_ he hold to Destiny Islands? Nothing, nada, zip. Not even his parents could convince him to stay. So why should he?

Sora's eye sidled over to Riku. But Riku _did_ have a tie to Destiny Island. He had _Kairi_. Was he really going to give his feelings up so easily?

Sora couldn't allow Riku to do that to himself. Sora knew if _he_ was in love with someone—in which he may as well be, with his stomach doing so many twists and turns—no matter how much that certain person rejected him, he wouldn't stand to be without them. Even if they ended up being with someone else, he'd want them to be around him. To make sure they were happy. Because being happy was the most important thing in the world, right?

"We should bring Kairi," Sora blurted. Riku sent him a sharp look.

"What?" said Riku, eyes narrowed.

Sora tried not to make his idea seem so obvious. Maybe mentioning Kairi so soon had been a big mistake. "Well, you know, after the fight…I got some thinking done. And well, no matter what, we're all still friends. We should offer to bring her, just to show no hard feelings, yeah?" Oh God, he was beginning to sound like Wakka. Sora continued: "We can even bring Tidus! You won't mind, right?"

Riku tried—honestly tried—to give a lackadaisical expression, but it came out so strained that he quickly quitted it and settled for stoic. Sora saw the face and immediately regretted his words. He looked down at his lap and suddenly felt like crying.

'_I'm being silly again_,' Sora thought, trying to banish his tears. '_Riku is only upset that I mentioned Kairi too soon…so why do I feel like my entire world has crashed?'_

Sora felt an arm encircle him, and found himself enclosed in a warm embrace against Riku's slightly muscular chest.

"Of course I don't mind, Sora," mumbled Riku into Sora's hair. "As long as I'm with you, I'm all right…" He took a deep breath, breathing in Sora's scent—was that a hint of cherried mint? Curiously, Riku sniffed again. It smelt an awful like…

Riku backed off and smacked Sora in the head. Sora yelped. Riku scowled at him. "You moron. You never washed your hair properly—that's probably why your hair is still so messy!"

"But I did wash my hair properly," Sora whined, rubbing the back of his head. He scowled. "It's only because Kairi's stupid gel is permanent!"

Riku shook his head, trying not to get a headache. _Permanent gel_? Who the hell had ever heard of _permanent gel_?

Only Sora, Riku concluded. Only Sora could fall into the trap of using nonexistent _permanent gel_ and have his hair stick outs and ins permanently.

But it _did_ make Sora look absolutely adorable. There was no doubt about that.

Riku sighed, wiping a hand through his platinum hair as he tried to get his hormones in control—he couldn't possibly lose control of them _now_, not when Sora was so close and cute and they had just gotten over a fight and—

Sora looked up at him with huge blue innocent eyes glowing in the sunlight and pouty lips curved into a curious frown. Riku nearly groaned out loud. Why the hell was Sora doing this to him?

"Hey, Riku…" began Sora, tilting his head a bit and looking worried. His beautiful blue eyes were half-lidded and his hair covered some of his face, making him look undeniably like a sex kitten straight out of The Playboy Penthouse. "Anything…wrong?"

Riku flushed as he realized he couldn't hold back any longer. Sweeping his head down, he took Sora's lips with his own. He felt Sora go impossibly still as he wrapped his arms around Sora's slender form once more, feeling Sora's heartbeat mingle with his as a never-ending samba beat. It only served to turn Riku on more…instead of just cool him down, like he thought it was supposed to. The heat of passion overtook Riku as his hands swept up Sora's back and into his spiky yet soft brown. He became so enraptured into Sora's lips that he forgot that not only were they on the beach in public view, but that Sora needed to _breathe_.

Sora pushed away from Riku—though not fully, as he was still in quite a daze—and awkwardly took some deep breaths of air, his eyes never leaving Riku's big shoes. He had never felt so _invigorated_ in his life—the blood was pumping through his entire system, and he didn't know what was happening or where his brain was.

Taking a shuddery breath, Sora looked up at Riku, who was looking not only regretful, but incredibly flustered as well. He was looking down at the sand. Sora wondered what was going through his mind.

"R-Riku…?" Sora asked tentatively.

"I'm sorry," came the gruff response. "I d-didn't…I mean, I didn't know…"

Sora's brow deepened, as he tried to figure out what Riku was stuttering. His eyes wondered off to the clean sand, and spotted another blueprint. It was near his foot. Sora's eyes widened at the words.

'**Operation: How To Kiss T.I.D.S.'**

"Riku!" Sora yelped, picking up the blueprint. On it was a bit of a stick-figure drawing of what apparently was a young boy, spiky hair and all. "What the hell?"

Riku blushed far more than before as his eyes' bulged. "Ah…"

Curious, Sora read some of the lines: "One: Get him alone on a midsummer's eve. Two: Feed him cake. Three: Sweet-talk…" Sora couldn't read on, he was laughing too much. Riku snatched the plan away from him, blushing.

Sora had tears coming out of his eyes; he was laughing so hard that his ribs and lungs hurt. "O-oh, man…"

"It's not that funny," mumbled Riku, his face a hot red. Sora glanced mischievously at him.

"So…planning on seducing Tidus, eh?"

Riku quickly looked up at him, eyebrows banishing into his bangs. "What? No!"

Sora shook his head, obviously not believing him. "C'mon, Riku!" Sora teased. "It's pretty obvious…All you need to do is add a 'U' to T.I.D.S. and you got Tidus!" Sora thought for a moment, accusation lighting up his eyes as he scowled at Riku. "And I bet you were just practicing your technique on me because **I**_ look _like**Tidus**!"

Riku was in shock—where the hell did Sora get his ideas from? Riku had a sneaky suspicion that his friend had a severe case of A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder). "Sora," said Riku, slowly. "I'm not trying to…"

"Hey guys," chirped a familiar blonde, placing his hand on Sora's shoulder. Neither of them had noticed Tidus snuck up on them. "What's shaking?"

Sora, looking quite like a cat that caught his mouse, only grinned and winked at Tidus. "Oh nothing much. Did you know that Riku digs you?"

Riku wanted to slap his forehead—or at least disappear off the face of the world—when Tidus flushed a cherry-red and stuttered "What?"

Sora nodded, wisely. "Yeah, I know. Big surprise, right?" Sora shook his head as he tried to shake off feelings of envy and melancholy coiling in his stomach. He plastered on a big smile for both Tidus and Riku. "Well, I guess I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone…"

"Sora—" said both boys as they tried to stop Sora, but Sora was already running off towards the clubhouse, holding in tears of grief.

Riku couldn't move—his sneakers were frozen to the sand as he watched, devastatingly, Sora's small figure disappear into the clubhouse. Obviously, he was taking the short way home.

Tidus, a sad yet cynical smile on his face, turned to Riku. Riku didn't even bother to look at him. "I guess we've got some explaining to do," Tidus said, sorrow filling his heart as well. How was he ever going to explain to Sora that it wasn't Tidus Riku loved…that it had truthfully been Sora all along?

And how was he supposed to be honest with his own feelings, when the truth was…Tidus loved them both?

**End Chapter 5

* * *

**

**Next Chapter:** In which some explaining is done, and the process of the raft is underway.

**Fun Author's Notes:** Ah, much mucho better. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! And can anyone guess what T. I. D. S. stands for? I'll give you a hint: T is for 'The'. Anyway, here are some reviewer's responses! And don't forget to join my group YaoiBishies, or check out my newstory T!o Be Someone Without No One

**Kawaii-Yaoi-Overdose**: LOL! I nearly cried reading your reviewThank so much and for reviewing, you get a Bronze Tidus plushie!

**Mooncat011**: Well, I did put up a piece…but I stupidly labeled it Chapter 4. (xD). And after I fixed that I remembered that I accidentally labeled it Chapter 4 within the segment and…well, let's just say Big Headache. I'm glad you liked the last chapter; I couldn't stand it…lol. This chapter is a load lot better… thank you for reviewing, and for reviewing, you get a Silver Riku plushie!

**BlackRoseVixen05**: Thanks! Here's a Bronze Wakka plushie for you!

**Darkness-Heart**: (hugs back) Gracias, amiga! I'm so happy at the response I got for last chapter…for your review, you get a Gold Riku plushie!

**Ayumiyori**: Ah, thank you, thank you! For your review you get a Bronze Seifer Plushie!

**ToriTsubasa**: You really think so? Thanks so much! For your review you get a Bronze Squall plushie!

**Suki**: And I have continued…I hope you enjoyed it! Bronze Cloud plushie for you!

**Yaoilovers**: Oh yes, I'm also a huge fan of love triangles. Especially those of the yaoi kind. xD. Bronze Sephiroth plushie for you.

**Sakura-no-Tamashi**: Ah, I think so. And it was probably passed along to Sora in the genetic process, LOL. _Was_ it the wrong boy? (wink wink nudge nudge Do I smell a love triangle?) I agree with a lot of his thoughts too…even though some of them tend to be a bit immaturely thought out xD. Silver Cloud plushie for you.

**Yurikitsune**: I'm guessing no author is truly satisfied with any story they make. Lol, I hope the same chemistry works here in this chapter. Thank you so much, and for your review, you get a Silver Sora plushie!

**Bob the Builder**: Thank you so much! Don't worry, I don't plan of abandoning this story…I'm glad you like both stories, and here's a Gold Sora plushie for you!

**Rozukitsune**: Lol, I'm glad you found it funny; Bronze Leon plushie for you!

**St. Mayhew**: Quite the oddball? Of course she is—who else can you picture as Sora's mother? Lol. I'm trying the Sora x Tidus thing, and so far it's really working and supported. For your review, you get a Silver Sephiroth plushie!

**Xlamentx**: Plot twist? This story? Of course! I'm so glad it's original in its own way. Kairi, to me, is a huge waste of good space, voice acting, and character plotting. If she were to disappear, the plot wouldn't collapse—however, if Sora or Riku were to disappear, there would be no plot. Yes, yes, OCD everywhere. I'm so glad for such a detailed review! Silver Tidus plushie for you!


	6. Chapter 6

**Her Big Mouth, His Big Feet **

_By Fantasy-chan_

**Disclaimer**: Fa la la la, la la la la, I don't own! Hmm hmm hmm. Fa la la la, la la la la, I don't own! Hmm hmm hmm. Elmo has his goldfish, his crayon toobut I don't own nadda!

**Pairings**: Blatant fangirl hints of Tidus + Riku + Sora

**Uber-Fun Author's Notes**: I love you all, I truly, really do. I mean, what a response. I'm lovin' it like Micky Ds. I wish I could've gotten this done faster, but between graduation and finals well…(_sigh_). Life really sucks and blows.

**Summary**: In which some explaining is done, and Sora and Tidus are infected with stupid. Artists Galore!

**Warnings:** You bet your butt this is yaoi.

**Chapter 6:** _The Young And Mentally Lacked_

* * *

When Sora had entered the house that morning, he wasn't surprised to see the note that informed that his father was at work and his mother wouldn't return until late in the afternoon a la the unspeakable horrid and dreadful trip each woman takes to a mall at least twice a month. Sora crumpled the letter and threw it in the trash, quelling the urge to tear out his heart and throw it in the bin as well. After making a quick P B and J with Mayo sandwich and pouring a glass of O.J., Sora made his way into the living room, where apparently his mother had forgotten to turn off the T.V. Sora curled his lip as he saw what was playing out on it.

"You don't understand, Jill," a male voice was saying. "Please, just let me explain…I love you…but I love Katherine, too."

"Oh God," a woman cried rather overdramatically on the television. "How could you do this to me, Richard!"

Reason Number 16 as to why Sora hated girls: Forget Soap Operas in general; it was because of girls _The Young and the Restless_ came on. The _Queen_ of Soap Operas.

Sora shuddered as he reached for the off button. However, just before his index finger made contact, a shrieking voice caught his attention.

"Richard," the woman snapped. "You _used_ me to get to Katherine. _You used me!_ How do you think I feel—you hurt me and you don't even care!"

Shocked, Sora leaned back as the woman ranted on. "You led me on, making me think that you've finally returned my secret feelings, and then when you got confident enough you crept behind my back to unveil your true feelings to my best friend! And now you have the audacity to tell me that you're going to go to Las Vegas and get married so that you can have trailer trash kids!" The woman slaps Richard. Hard. "I hate you, Richard! And don't you even **think** you're going to get our daughter either—I'm going for full custody, baby!"

Sora nodded, entirely captivated to the show. This woman was right, Richard—no, Riku _had_ used him! How dare he? He had absolutely no right—whether he liked Katherine or Tidus or Kairi —and with realization, Sora gasped. Had Riku used him in meeting Kairi as well? After all, Sora had known Kairi first and then after a while Riku _had_ wanted to be introduced…

Sora stuffed his sandwich in his mouth, swallowing it down with some orange juice. His eyes stung with tears as he watched on…but he didn't care, since the woman on the T.V. was crying too. Sora grabbed on to the stuffed rabbit that both he and Riku had dubbed 'Mr. Bear' and bit down on its ear, holding in a sob. Mr. Bear had been given to him by Riku about five years ago, and Sora still had no heart to part with it…even if his father thought it made him 'soft'.

As the episode went on, Sora couldn't help but think that perhaps he had been wrong about these soap opera things. They definitely knew the truth about men—that they were lying, cheating, uncaring **dogs**.

Sora neglected the fact that he himself was a male.

The doorbell rang just as the woman's best friend—Katherine—launched forward and declared her undying love for the both of them. Sora let out a miserable sigh—too bad real life couldn't be as simple. Pushing himself up off the couch, Sora treaded his way to the door before opening it. What he saw made the entire soap opera scene replay in his head.

Both Riku and Tidus were standing on his doorstep, looking like the lying, cheating, uncaring dogs they were. Stupid boys—they had some nerve to come here, looking as if _he_ was the guilty party. Sora glared at them with undying disgust. "What?" he snapped. "Is this where you tell me you're going to run off to Las Vegas or something tasteless like that and get married and have a bunch of trailer trash kids? Because if you are, I'm telling you right now, don't you even **think** you're getting Mr. Bear because I'm _so_ going for full custody, baby!"

Both of them looked extremely taken aback...and confused. So very confused. "Sora," said Tidus weakly. "We're both guys…I don't think we _can_ have kids."

"And they haven't even legalized gay marriage on the island in the first place," added Riku, who looked very much offended at being accused of running off with Tidus. "Furthermore, I don't intend to take Mr. Bear away from you, Sora."

"Why?" Sora snapped, temper rampant. "Because it's one of the only things we share? Is that it? You want to start completely over with your _new_ lover? Is that it?"

Tidus couldn't help it; he burst into giggles. This reminded him of that scene in All My Children, when John decided that he loved both his girlfriend and his long-lost sister. He was just lucky that Sora seemed to be concentrating only on Riku.

"Sora, please," said Riku, looking very perplexed and frightened at Sora's current frame of mind. "Please…it's not what you think…you just don't understand. Just let me explain…"

"Oh ho!" Sora roared. "I know _this_ sketch! _Now_ you're going to tell me how you love us both, right? How dare you! You _used_ me to get to Katherine—I mean, Kairi! And Tidus! _You used me!_ How do you think I feel—you hurt me and you don't even care!"

Riku was looking more and more like he wanted to cry, or run, or both at the same time. "But—Sora—"

"You led me on, making me think that you've finally returned my secret feelings, and then when you got confident enough you crept behind my back to unveil your true feelings to my best friend!" Sora slapped Riku. Hard. "I hate you, Richard!"

All time stopped. Even Tidus, who was bright red and had been shaking with uncontrollable laughter, froze. Riku's cheek reddened, and Sora, who had just realized what he had done, stepped back, looking shocked at his own actions. Riku carefully rubbed his cheek, his eyes blank as he observed Sora silently. Sora didn't know what to say—he honestly hadn't meant to take things so far. He had just got caught up in the moment…

Sora clenched his fists in embarrassment. That was the very first and _very last_ time he'd _ever_ watch a soap opera.

_Especially_ the Young and the Restless. Sora shuddered. What had really compelled him to watch that trash?

Reason Number 17 as to Why Sora Hated Girls: For the very last time, **Soap Operas**. They could be so…clandestinely vindictive. And addictively hazardous, if taken in large doses. Soap Operas demonstrated and highlighted the disgusting behavior that girls partook in. Or in other words, illustrated how overdramatic, overbearing, psychopathic, snobby, girly, and gold-digging brats girls could be.

"…." Riku's mouth opened and closed noiselessly, his eyes radiant with confusion. He took his hand and rubbed his reddened cheek, while the other one curled in his hair, scratching his head. Riku shook his head, as if trying to decide if the entire event had even taken place.

Tidus simply asked, "Who the hell is Richard?"

There was silence, followed by more silence. Sora felt as if his mouth had been cottoned by his tongue, but eventually managed to blurt out "I _hate_ soap operas! No wonder girls are so stupid" before giving Riku an apologetic look.

The total scene that had just conspired had been entirely too stupid—too _Sora_—and maybe that was what made it so easy to forgive. Riku enveloped Sora into a hug while Tidus looked on in what might've been wistful envy. Sora, having a knack for noticing these things, merely reached over and pulled Tidus from off his stoop and took him into his arms.

"Group hug!" he cried.

"Moron," they said simultaneously, fondly.

Sora could not ever remember a time where he had felt so complete. He was warm in their embrace—not that it had been cold before, it was an island—but he felt warm on the inside as well now. Like nothing could go wrong. Or be wrong, ever again.

Maybe he could even get used to that topsy turvy feeling in his stomach.

"Sora, there is still something I'd like to explain," said Riku, who's voice was muffled in what was probably Tidus' hair.

But, of course, nothing lasted forever.

Sora drew back tentatively, not wanting to let go but knowing he had to. "…what is it?" he asked warily. If this was Riku's declaration of love for Tidus, then Sora figured that he'd have to support his best friends in whatever type of relationship they pursued. And if they chose to have kids well…Sora guessed he wouldn't mind being some sort of godfather or something. As long as he could still be with his friends—that was what supposed to matter, right?

Riku pulled back from the embrace as well, taking a few steps back while Tidus stayed at Sora's side. Neither looked at each other. They watched as Riku dug into his pocket and pulled out a rather large roll of paper—with pants as large as Riku's, Sora wouldn't have been surprised if he carried a toilet in there as well. Not that Sora should have been talking—his pants were four times too large in the leg area, and were only held up by the rest of his jolly red jumper.

Riku unrolled the long bit of parchment before unveiling the print that Sora had seen earlier—but not the one, thankfully, of the boy. No, this one was of the raft…or what Riku had called a raft. Sora still thought it was a wall with a giant pole with a flag protruding through the middle.

Ah, well. Riku had never been as good as an artist as Sora. At the thought, Sora buffed up his chest in pride. Inwardly, he gloated. He was the best artist on the island—he had been since he was 2. Or, at least, that was what his mother told him.

* * *

"So what were you saying?" asked Sora, looking curious. Tidus leaned on his shoulder, looking just as curious. Riku felt as if he was having a hot flash—twin Soras. Damn, was he going to stay in a cold shower for the rest of his life or what?

"This," Riku announced, "is 'The Plan.'" He raised it up higher in satisfaction as both Sora and Tidus squinted at the blue prints, and then at each other. Inwardly, he gloated. He was the best artist on the island—he had been since he was 2. Or, at least, that was what his mother told him.

"A wall?" Tidus guessed. Riku wanted to smack him. Any blind man could see that the picture on the blueprint was obviously a raft—both he and Sora must have been infected with stupid when they ate that chicken the other night. Every Tuesday night Sora's mother made chicken, and that was usually when Tidus came over for dinner and to stay over. When Riku had first heard of their little ritual, he had been rampant with jealousy, but when Sora had reminded him that Riku usually spent nearly the entire week with him only to himself, Riku couldn't help but feel like an envious ass.

"No, stupid," snapped Riku. "It's a raft. Our raft."

"What the hell do we need a raft for?" asked Tidus, scratching his head. "I mean, we do have a bunch of canoes and boats here anyway…so why do we need to build a raft?"

That was undeniably true. When you live on an island, there tended to be boats. "It…it makes it more official!" exclaimed Riku, blushing. "And besides, all those boats are out for rent. We're not even sure if we're coming back."

"We're not coming back?" asked Sora, wide eyed. Riku wanted to kiss him—Sora looked so adorable like that.

"Well, we might not," admitted Riku. "I mean, it'd be well worth it, y'know? To be able to see other worlds. Instead of just staying here and growing up to be stinky fishermen like our forefathers, we'll be adventurers!"

"And we might not come back," Tidus repeated, awestruck. A thought hit him and he gave Riku a _look_. "Dude, I don't think my mom will be too happy with that. I mean, she already gets upset when I skip curfew by a few minutes. She'd probably catch a heart attack if I'm out for a few days—and your moms, too," he added, belatedly.

Riku shrugged his shoulders. He really didn't care. His mom could be a real nuisance, a lot of the time. Especially when it came to his lifestyle and his _very small_ obsession with his best friend. Just because he had pictures of Sora everywhere did not mean that he was crazy! He was just in love! "That's a chance I'm willing to take," Riku replied. Riku gave both his friends his own sinister and superior _look_, complete with official trademark smirk and one eyebrow up. "I mean, if you guys wanna chicken out because your mommy won't be there to give you a beddy-bye kiss, I completely understand…"

"Chicken out!" roared Sora. "Never!"

"Same here!" agreed Tidus, looking flushed with a prevailing temper. Riku had to suppress a smile—goading always worked. Boys could be so predictable. He put his hand down in the center of the trio.

"So we begin work tomorrow, then?" he asked.

Sora put his hand on top of Riku's, and Tidus' on top of Sora's. "Hell yeah!" they raved.

Riku smirked. "Then congratulations, gentlemen. Tomorrow begins the start of our new lives as real men."

**End Chapter 6

* * *

**

**Next Chapter:** In which the building of the raft is commenced, and sand ball fights just aren't what they used to be.

**Uber Fun Author's Notes**: I had some problems with this chapter, but after a while I finally got it. I do hope you like, and don't forget to review! Ahand my group **YaoiBishies (link in profile)**!

And Now—for the **Fantabulous Reviewers' Response**! (And there Are just so many!)

**Lakina-Kun ahiakam**: Totally! I've always been into the SoraxRikuxTidus fling! You get a Bronze Sephiroth plushie!

**xXxSoRixXx**: As if you didn't see it coming…(_wink wink nudge nudge_) You get a Silver Sephiroth plushie!

**AllPowerfulDaisy**: Thanks! And you're right! You get the special prize a Platinum Jeweled Sephiroth plush with Pretty Cloud plush attatchment! XD. I'm so retarded.

**XO'MagickMoon'OX**: I know, right? Poor Riku-chan. But can you really blame Sora's mom, when her poor son looks so much like an uke? (_wink_) Thanks for such a long review!

**bob the builder**: LOL! Of course—we ADD people have to stick together! AND OMG YOU WERE JUST SOOOO CLOSE! But T.I.D.S. stands for The Incredibly Dumb Sora…thanks so much for your review and guess! PS: You'll just have to read on to see Tidus' fate, ne? Here's a Gold Leon plushie!

**Darkness-Heart**: Thank you so much! I really tried to keep up the humor. Afterall, when there's Sora, there's bound to be absolute silliness XD. Here's a Gold Axel Plushie!

**BisquickBismarck**: California, ne? That sounds really cool—I had thought you had abandoned me (_sobs_). But you're back, and that's what counts (_BIG SMILEY_). Here's a Gold Roxas Plushie!

**Silver**: Thanks sooo mucho! I've always loved fluff with more than a tinge of drama and angst. Here's a Bronze Axel plushie!

**pankeekii**: LOL, I totally agree with the Kairi comment—and I'm really glad 'Maia' showed this to you too! Roxas plushie? For reviewing, you totally get one! (_hands her a Bronze Roxas plushie_).

**Yurikitsune**: Totally. I love KH2. And tell me you noticed the completely indiscreet yaoiness of it all! Riku and Sora are sooooo together. You get a Gold Cloud plushie!

**TomiSama04**: Trust me. I feel like smacking Sora too…and mind you, I'm the author, LOL. You get a Bronze Seifer plushie!

**Horanto**: And hence, a complete RikuxSoraxTidus threesome (_wink_). You get a Bronze Leon plushie!

**grlkat**: I know. But who isn't a moron when they're in love? XD You totally get a Bronze Cloud plushie.

**mooncat011**: Sex kitten? Have you seen Advent Children yet? Take a good look at Kadaj. Tell me he doesn't scream sex kitten, LOL. I actually posted Ch. 6 on YaoiBishies first, since we have so many members and I found it unfair to leave my loyal members lacking and just put it on first. You get a Platinum Riku plushie!

**BlackRoseVixen05**: Awww….Here's a Silver Wakka plushie! (_sniffles_) I get so Emo, watching a fellow yaoi fangirl glomp a poor bishie…XD

**Ayumiyori**: LOL. Yes, yes, connect everyone so that they may be under my mysterious powers….Bwahahahahaha. You get a pretty Silver Cloud plushie!

**kawaii-yaoi-overdose**: Hey me too! I so totally care! And I wanna add on like, my mommy, and like God, and oh wait, this is your speech. (_pout_) Ah, here's a Silver Tidus plushie!


	7. Chapter 7

Her Big Mouth, His Big Feet

By Fantasy

Disclaimer: Don't Own, Don't Sue.

Pairings: More and more and more blatant fangirl hints of Tidus+Riku+Sora

Uber Author's Notes: Hahaha, I've been gone for so long that I forgot that I even existed. Sorry guys, college life really sucks and blows popsicles. But without further adieu…

Summary: In which the building of the raft is commenced, and sand ball fights just aren't what they used to be.

Warnings: Yaoi, slash, whatever you call it. No matter what though, it's always boi-on-boi to me.

Chapter 7: Among Wrenches and Sandballs Fights

It had all started when Riku had asked for the saw.

Tidus was nowhere to be found, and Sora seemed to be missing a part of his brain.

What normal person did not know what a saw looked like? Sometimes, he wondered if Sora put on his 'dumb girl' impersonation to get out of doing work.

"Is this a saw?" Sora asked, holding up a hammer. Riku slapped his own forehead and looked wistfully at the tool in Sora's hands. He wished he could knock himself out with that hammer…or at least knock some sense into Sora.

"No…" he grumbled. Making his way to the toolbox, Riku looked inside to see that the saw was missing. He frowned. "Tidus must've taken it."

There was no response. Riku turned his face sideways to see what Sora was up to when a sandball plowed right into his face and knocked him off balance. It stung, but not as much as it pride did.

Embarrassed, he got up to Sora's laughter, taking up with him a handful of sand. Sora didn't even notice; he was laughing so hard…

Just as riku was about to retaliate, however, another sandball attacked him, this time hitting the back of his head. Rikue landed on his knees. Sora, now paying full attention, went into another peal of laughter, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Sandball fight!" Tidus howled, and he chucked another sandball…this time at Sora. Sora, who was too busy laughing, was hit square his face. His laughter stopped abruptly.

"Hey!" he yelped, his mouth full of sand. Tidus started laughing, pointing at him. Sora, spitting out sand, grabbed another handful of sand and chucked it at Tidus, who didn't even bother to dodge. He fell over, laughing still, and Sora began laughing as well too. What exactly they were laughing about, Riku had no clue.

Unbeknownst to both of them, Riku watched on, not even bothering to retaliate or get revenge. He was hypnotized both their innocence… their ability to appear both cute and sexy at the same time. The sand only made them look even more sexy…and Riku couldn't help but blush as he imagined doing things that involved that chocolate lube Sora was so fond of and Tidus's huge beach blanket…

"Back to work!" Riku yelped, interrupting their laughter as he abruptly stood up and ran back to the place where the rest of the supplies laid. He didn't want them to see his bright red face.

Maybe doing some more work would clear his head of those dirty thoughts…

An hour into his work, all that was on his mind was venturing into the sunset with Sora and Tidus, laughing gaily as their raft floated further and further away from the island…

"Sora….SORA! For the last time, THIS IS NOT AWRENCH!" Annoyed, Riku threw the flathead screwdriver next to the other discarded tools that weren't a wrench. "Try again!"

Embarrassed and blushing, Sora looked at Riku, raising up another tool that was, yet again, not a wrench and waved it side to side. "Is this it?" he hollered.

Riku slapped his forehead while Tidus chuckled helplessly, shaking his head from side to side. Poor Sora. He obviously didn't get the full version of the "Birds and the Bees" speech if he was having trouble picking out the right tools. However, after receiving a quick dark look from Riku, Tidus quickly returned to work, tying up the last of the logs together with thick tweed rope.

Riku sighed. Inwardly, he felt horrible for treating both boys badly. However, between the sweltering heat, Tidus's awkward glances, and Sora's ignorance of every tool known to mankind, Riku was beginning to believe that they'd never get off the island.

Besides, Riku wasn't known for being a patient guy, either.

"No, Sora!" yelled Riku, banging his hand against the raft. "Geez, what kind of man are you, not knowing what a wrench is?!"

Turning redder than ever, Sora's embarrassment became anger. "Does it even matter?! You're building a raft—logs and rope! What do you need a wrench for!?"

Riku froze and blinked as a blush slowly spread across his cheeks. He completely forgot what he had needed the wrench for. With this thought, Riku quickly turned his head and mumbled, "Nevermind."

Feeling victorious, Sora threw all the rest of the tools back in the toolbox. Why there were so many, Sora would never know. All he knew was that tools were stupid, and he had finally one-upped Riku.

The day was finally looking up for Sora.

Closing the toolbox and skipping towards the raft, Sora placed his foot on top of the raft. "So, how's Excalibur coming along?"

"Well, High Wind is coming along fine without you stepping on it," replied Riku, still pink.

"We're actually pretty much done," Tidus piped up, waving a piece of cloth. "All we really have to do is add the flag and we're done!"

Sora found himself saddening at that. Kairi was the one who was supposed to be designing and placing up the flag…however, when they approached the house, her aunt had coldly turned them away, saying that Kairi was feeling more than unwell to see anyone, especially the one who 'broke her poor delicate heart'.

"Don't forget, we also have to get food and fresh water for our adventure…" Riku noted, double the last logs. "Let's see…since Sora hasn't done anything all day but daydream and _not_ find wrenches, how about he get the provisions?"

"I can second that!" Tidus readily agreed, not exactly over the splinters that were still in his hands from cutting up those logs. Sora was supposed to help him, but after Tidus had witnessed how haphazardly Sora was pulling out the saw, Tidus quickly had handed him over to Riku.

"Hey!" Sora pouted. Even though it was true that he really hadn't done anything the entire day, Sora had been hoping to spend more 'best friend alone time' with Riku. Now, it seemed, the only ones who would be getting 'alone time' were Riku and Tidus…

Sora scowled. He didn't like the sound of it. Not one bit. Even if he _was_ Riku's and Tidus's best friend, that didn't mean he had to automatically give up any hope that there was a possibility that either of them liked _him_…or something like that, right? Riku _had_ kissed him, and Tidus _did_ spend a lot of time with Sora….

Besides, Sora was tired of being left on the backburner. In the end, Sora feared he would end up alone…or even worse, a third wheel.

"That's not fair!" Sora whined. "How about this? A race! The last person to cross the line wins and doesn't have to get the food!" He turned to Riku. "Of course, since you did the most work today, you won't have to participate…it can be just me and Tidus!"

Tidus tried not to frown. There was something a little fishy about this…

"Or, how about this…" Riku countered, holding up a familiar star shaped fruit. Both Sora and Tidus stared at it, memorized. Incredulity was equally present in both their faces. "The winner gets to share a paopu fruit with me!"

"Isn't that a bit…steep?" Tidus wondered aloud. "I mean, isn't that like going from 'Hi nice to meet you,' to 'Hey let's have babies and ruin our lives for the next 18 years!'"

Sora looked at him for a long time before saying "…your mom was the one to give you the birds and bees talk, wasn't she?"

Tidus blushed, but made no sign of explaining himself.

"I guess in a way you're right, Tidus," Riku admitted. A cocky smirk made it's way onto his face. "But I'd think it'd be interesting to see who'd want to be with me that badly!"

Sora's stomach dropped. So…this was Riku's way of finding out who really liked him then…and he wasn't even being sneaky about it! Sora suddenly felt a determination like he had never felt before…he would win this race!

"So how about it?" Riku challenged. "Are you up to it or not?"

"Hell yeah!" Sora whooped. Tidus still looked unsure. Sora turned to him, smile triumphant. "What's wrong, Tidus? Stakes too high? Scared you're gonna lose?"

"At this point, I don't stand a chance against you, Sora," Tidus said quietly, and Sora couldn't help but feel that there was a secret meaning behind that. "So I think this little race has me at a bit of a disadvantage…how about we all share the paopu fruit and you and I can just look for the food and water together?"

Sora stared at him in disbelief. "But wouldn't that be just weird? I mean, the paopu fruit is supposed to be shared with those who are.…" Sora blushed. What was he saying? He had almost admitted his feelings without even saying it! Sora hoped his enthusiasm was being taken as him merely being uber competitive and not…romantic. Otherwise Riku and Tidus would probably just feel uncomfortable and maybe even leave him alone….

Tidus laughed. It sounded forced. It _was_ forced. "No!" he laughed loudly. Sora blushed and Tidus felt terrible for making him feel uncomfortable. It was just that…he didn't want to lose Riku or Sora. This was the only way. Mentally, he apologized and glared at Riku. If he hadn't brought this up in the first place…"Girls just make it sound that way. The paopu fruit is eaten by those who want their lives to be intertwined for the rest of their lives. That means, no matter what world we visit, no matter how far we go, no matter how lost or separated we get…we'll be able to find each other one day."

Sora looked wide-eyed. And then he smiled. So brightly, that both Tidus and Riku smiled as well. Tidus didn't feel as bad anymore. "That's perfect!" he yelled happily. "Then we can all be together forever, and no one has to be left out!"

Tidus blushed as Sora pulled him and Riku in for a hug. It was as if Sora had read his _mind_…

Riku. Tidus turned to face him, curious. Riku looked happy enough, at least. Maybe, just maybe…he'd be able to worm his way into both their hearts before they realized their own feelings…and there'd be room for Tidus to be loved too.

"Okay, okay," Riku laughed. His voice was so rich and mature…every word he spoke almost made Tidus blush more and more. "So let's split this three ways then…" He broke it, and then again, until there was what looked like three equal pieces. Each one took one piece, and Tidus felt an electric shock of excitement brewing in the bottom of his stomach. He couldn't believe this was happening…

"To discovery!" Riku said, holding his piece of fruit in the air.

"To adventure!" Sora added on, pushing his fruit forward as well.

A feeling so strong it overwhelmed Tidus, and a tear streamed down his cheek as true happiness blossomed inside of him. "To being together, forever!" he yelled.

"Yeah!" Riku and Sora agreed, and together, the trio swallowed their fruit, not bothering to chew, not leaving a single drop of paopu fruit even on their fingertips.

Tidus had never tasted a fruit so sweet.

AN: Once again, so so so so sorry for this being so late. The latest reviews though are what inspired me to write this chapter, so please do review. This is probably my worst piece of work ever written…I didn't even spell check. I'm so depressed T.T.


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